February 17, 2009

head full of stars

Ahhh.. such warm (VERY) warm weather today. It was so hot in fact, it made my nose bleed. It feels like living inside a microwave!

But I'm not gonna complain about the weather too much today. For all I know, God will take away the sun and give us rain all day long. Kalau banjir, susah nanti... But I won't mind the snow tho. Hehe!

Last Sunday, Bunny and I joined my brother for a game of bowling. Oh best!!!! Not that I'm such a pro when it comes to bowling, but it was fun seeing the laughter on the faces of the men I love - Bunny and my brother - We weren't totally competing with each other, that's what makes it so much fun, because the pressure of getting a strike was no there! (But I know *someone* was dying to get a strike, at least, before the game ended. LOL)

After playing 2 sets of bowling, we went for a movie. We watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". Whoa... such a long and interesting movie! In fact, the couple who was seated in front of us left after only 20 minutes during the show. They must've not understood English, or worse, couldn't appreciate that kind of movie. Hehehe. But I'm glad to say that we enjoyed the movie very much, especially the part when the guy told Benjamin how he was stroke by the lightening 7 times in his life. Man, I was so looking forward to ALL of the strikes! :D

Then after we movie, we went for supper together. Talked a lot (I was being my usual self :P), laughed a lot.. and I ate a little. But it was fun altogether. Fun! Fun! Fun!

I'm so looking forward to our next gathering. It's so much fun doing things with your sibling when you have your loved one with you. :-)

Oh, Bunny and I are going house-hunting tonight. We think that we should get a bigger house with more privacy for us both. Do wish us both luck ya? Coz at the moment, we REALLY need that! :D

February 11, 2009

it's a good day to say "i'm blessed!"

First, let me start by saying -- I'm blessed. I'm a very blessed girl. I'm definitely a girl with lots of blessings.


There. Start your day with positive thinking. Everything else will turn positive around you. Your aura will reflect something positive with glowing flare around you. Haha!

I started my day hugging Bunny. Kissed him before he leave for work. Then I prayed the rosary. I have good feelings about the universe whenever I start the day with a prayer. :D

I haven't had breakfast, but I'm not hungry. I still have the usual gastric pain, but I'm not complaining. I miss my family, but they're always in my heart. I'm dying to see Bunny, but I know I'm always in his heart and mind. I'm close to broke, but I know God will provide.

I did some drawing again last weekend. It was supposed to be a picture of me and Bunny, of course, with both of us having very short hair. :P I couldn't imagine (and I refused to imagine!) Bunny having short hair - because I really like him with the long hair he has currently. I think he look really nice like that. In fact, it has always been my dream since a teenager, to have a partner with long hair. Haha!

OK, I think I'm done with today's posting. I gotta get me some flight ticket before mummy call again later in the noon. I'm going off to Sarawak early next month with her. And her husband (my dad). And her youngest daughter. (My sister) *heehee* It's gonna be a trip that I'm both, looking forward and NOT really looking forward to.. but I'm not gonna say why. I think you guys should've known WHY by now. :P

February 7, 2009

depressed :(

I think I'm slowly sinking into depression again, only this time, it wasn't because the lack of love. It's because of the stupid sickness I had with me since 1991. Gastric ulcer.

How would you feel if you have abdominal pain every time you eat something? Or whenever you go to bed, you had to grit your teeth because your stomach hurts like hell? Even not eating gives terrible stomach pain. Let's not forget hard, solid foods that hurts the stomach (intestines). And the latest, drinking tea (which happened to be my favorite drink) induces vomiting. If those symptoms happened to you, I'm sure you'll feel irritated and depressed like me too..

I just threw up my whole lunch not too long ago, after drinking milk tea. The experience of sitting on the cold bathroom floor with my head on the toilet bowl was not something I enjoy doing. In fact, it was so painful, I cried like a baby... Took me almost 30 minutes to gain my strength to drag myself on the bed. To divert myself from feeling sorry about the whole situation, I turned to my notebook and viewed some old photos..

And then I saw this:

A photo of my dogs, Girly and BonBon with their neighbor (my cousin's dog) ZengZeng. It was supposed to be a happy photo, because I took the photo back in November, when my parents and I went to clear the graves of my late sister and grandmother. The dogs definitely enjoyed themselves that day, because there were so many space for them to run and hide from each other.

BonBon, the black dog, died on the eve of New Year 2009. On the morning before his departure, he went into my room, as usual, to greet me good morning.. and went back to his usual sleeping place. He was very sick then. I went to his bedside, stroke his head and told him how much I love him and how I wish he would get well soon, so he could wear the collar I bought him for Christmas. I went to my father's estate that morning, only to come back by noon with the news that BonBon had passed.

That thought made me sobbed even more.

I miss him so much.. I still couldn't look at his photos without shedding a tear. :(

Gosh, I think I'm going crazy today... all thanks to this stupid gastric.

February 5, 2009

i'm back!

I hope! hehehehe..

Oh my, I'm terribly, terribly sorry for the lack up updates. You know what they say, when you have a new toy, you tend to throw the old one away. :P


When my 8 years relationship with my previous partner fell apart, I was devastated and almost fell into deep depression. Life for me was meaningless then. I felt like I've wasted my time and youth, and I turned into a bitter and angry person. For almost 3 years in my life, I have been living a lonely, quiet and secluded life, away from my family and friends. I avoided family gatherings as much as I can, I gave excuses for not being able to make it to friends outings.. I found comfort in locking up myself in my bedroom. Just me and the loud music playing in the background. Such was my life back then.. That was the path I chose to be in because I was so close to giving up on life, on myself..

Until Jaya came into the picture..

My life took a whole 360 degrees turn.

With Jaya around, everyday is a blessed day. He gave me reasons to live once again. He made me see the beauty and wonders of life. He made me realize that life is meant to be beautiful. He opened a new door for me to explore how wonderful the world is.


I'm not gonna dive into details on how I met Jaya, that would be a different story for another day. But I'd like to express this to all you people who's still seeking for the "one" out there. NEVER GIVE UP. Tho it might seem impossible and hopeless at first, trust The Lord, He will NOT abandon you. Just put your trust on Him. Continue praying and talk to Him about your feelings. HE WILL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU. I am saying this because I bear witness to His love and miracle. After 'talking' to Him for years, He finally brings me "The One" - even better, He gave me more than what I've expected from the man of my dream!

Keep the faith and your new path will soon be revealed to you. :)