Sometimes, I cannot adapt to changes..

An aunt of mine who's married to a Chinese once told me that the bed shouldn't be placed facing directly to either the door or a window. Another Chinese man (the guy from the apartment's management office) then told Bunny last weekend that according to their (the Chinese, I assume) belief, it is not advisable to place the bed facing a door or the window.

Then last night, I moved the bed to face the wall instead of the window. I don't know why it took me THIS long to move it.. but oh well, at least I finally moved it! And you know what? I couldn't sleep! I went to bed around 11:00PM and was awake around 3 in the morning. No matter how hard I tried to get back to sleep (even tried the tip that I read somewhere in Fay's blog about how to get to sleep) .. still, I couldn't! What's worse was that somewhere along the line... I end up reminiscing the old days back when my family and I was a resident of Kunak. I remember all the things I did, both good and bad, growing up as a teen.. being slightly rebellious and all that. And then I remembered about that one time when I had a fight with my dad...

So there I was, lying on the bed, sobbing and crying as silent as I could, guilt-ridden, feeling bad for myself and wishing that I could just get on the phone and talked to someone. Of course, I did apologized to my dad back then... but for some reason, it hurts so much just to think about it last night.

And at one point, I actually imagined myself being that woman in the 'Eat, Pray, Love' book.. where she had a moment when she cried in the bathroom, confused and wanting to escape from it all. Except that I dare not cry in my bathroom in the middle of the night, alone... nanti ada 'lain' yang datang tinguk. Ha ha ha!

So.... yeah... I wish that I still have someone who I can talk to, no matter what time it is. I used to have someone, but now.. *sigh*. I don't even wanna talk about it anymore.

I'll blame it on the bed position move!